It's Wednesday, three weeks and one day after the op. I have to write this down because mentally it's quite tough to make it through this time.

I took myself of the painkillers on Monday this week (ie. 2 days ago) and it's been quite a struggle since then. I have had the following physical feelings, which have come and gone for hours at a time:

- inflammation of lower back at SIJs
- sharp, central pain in lumbar spine
- raw / sore feeling on surface of skin (on the wound - this is here all the time)
- tight and painful lumbar muscles after playing in playground
- sharp knee pains when crouching / climbing steps (as always)
- "nauseous" knee pains when trying to sleep
- a non-uncomfortable moving sensation as I walk as the lower end of the titanium rods (?) protrude a little
- "burning" feeling around bone graft area, although this is receding
- inability to sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a time
- numb + bruised feeling in my left buttock

The big bruise on my right hip (which was green and yellow and purple) has almost gone.

On Friday 13th Oct I woke up with a stiff neck. I must have taken a meltonin tablet and fallen asleep in an awkward position. I was worried for the next 36 hours that it would be permanent like the morning of 7th Jan. I Google "wake up with a stiff neck" and came across a few remedies which I tried. As I type this 4 days later, I think I have recovered 90%. I was going to go to see a physio with my wife, but then thought better of it until I felt I could be prdded and lie down on a massage table comfortably.

Yesterday I had a strong headache, brought on by staying in bed watching a DVD and a stiff neck. I took two Panadol Extras and it went away by then end of the day.

My aim now is to go out and walk on flat ground regularly and try to sort out my sleep routine. My back muscles have been cut up and haven't worked properly for 5 years. They are therefore probably completely atrophied and it may take 6 careful months for me to get my strength back. Until then, I will probably continue to have some of the pains reported above.

Mentally, the stress of not knowing whether I will eventually recover / feel the same / feel worse after this is all making relaxing my muscles and getting to sleep very difficult. My current approach is to immerse myself in tasks (be their recreational or errands) and try and make the time fly by.

The weather is good but pollution is very high, which makes going outside less than perfect. Other personal stress factors contribute.