It's been a while since my last message so I think for my future benefit, I want to record my changing sensations and emotions over the last week.

I can walk - but having said that I could walk before the op too. The thing is - can I bend over / crouch down / use my back muscles for anything? Will my knees go back to normal? The answer is, "It's too early to tell".

On the positive side...

(a) I am taking painkillers less frequently.
(b) I can't feel the sharp right SI pain I used to (I think!)
(c) Since last weekend, my skin around the wound is less sensitive than a week ago.
(d) On Monday I felt really quite a lot better and went to the playground twice to play ball and frisbee with my son.
(e) My pains move around a bit (left buttock, right L5, right ankle, knees, etc.) which doesn't sound good but is what happened last time I had an op so it doesn't scare me.
(f) I stumbled twice in the last two days when walking in public. Despite the jarring sensation, it was nowhere near as painful as after the previous op, and didn't leave me inflammed for days afterwards (only worried that I may have slowed the fusion).
(g) I feel I am in better hands this time than last.

On the negative side...

(a) On Tuesday I felt pretty crap. My knees were painful and I almost thought I could feel the right SI pain again.
(b) My right hip / ITB (??) still pops on demand. Surely this should go away if everything else is secure and I am walking correctly? My ITBs are tight.
(c) I still can't bend / crouch etc. because of my left SI bone graft site soreness. It feels like a burning sensation, which the painkillers alleviate, but it still feels a lot better than the previous op.
(d) I worry that once I start to put the pressure back on my lower back, I'll have some (new) pain somewhere in the L5 / S1 region brought about by additional stresses on other joints or a failure to fuse. This worry keeps we awake at night.
(e) I still don't sleep through the night. I am starting to have vivid dreams (which presumably indicate a deeper level of sleep) but toss and turn a lot to relieve cold sweat from stress and to pop my hip.
(f) My knees are crap after walking up / downhill. I worry that unless I get patella braces or strengthen them, I will be back where I started again. Maybe this whole thing started with my knees not working and the steep neighbourhood I live in?
(g) Other personal stresses which are unrelated to my back keep me awake too, and it's a vicious cycle once you sleep badly.
(h) Perhaps some of the tablets are affecting my mood, since I've been quite up and down, but maybe that's just my mind reacting to my physical condition.

Let's see how the next week goes. I am using the notebook most of the day. I received an nice folding aluminium "desk" today from an anonymous source. It came to the door wrapped in newspaper, and helps keep the notebook at a good height above my lap in bed. Whoever sent it, thank you!